tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/MokoFeed2009-11-10T14:31:32+01:00tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2008-03-22:/2008/03/22/title-3921285/Zoidberg20002008-03-22T16:40:42+01:002008-03-22T16:40:42+01:00 <p>Id forgotten what a pain in the ass writing this blog was however, my lovelies, I have returned (although for how longI cannot say) My easter death to the lord well wishes are with u all. xxx (ps. from the greusome facebook, one subscriber suggested I check out this blog- hence spending an hour trying to reactivate it- giving the impession there was something of late I should see. I have yet top find it. ?!?!) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2008/03/22/title-3921285/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-06-14:/2007/06/14/back_from_beyond~2452524/Zoidberg20002007-06-14T16:49:43+02:002007-06-14T16:49:43+02:00 <p>Sorry for not blogging (such an ugly word) for so long. Taken away my internet access they have. Im sneaking this one past the censors. Such a naughty zoidberg. So wicked. What have I done?!?!?!?!</p> <p>I do hope you are well. I know I am. A two day weekend for zoidberg. TWO DAYS! What will I do you say? Meet friends, eat out, see the pirate movie. Maybe a bunch of others maybe. Who knows? I have endevoured to change my diary from one of things full of boring shit I just dont wanna do to one with nothing but a nice scattering of pretty things I would love to do. Not bad eh?<br> How was the break? Must have been nice to get away from all that not yet nursing. And the race cars? and the knitting? (i am still seriously contemplating the knitting).</p> <p>Other than that, my quiet and to most people dull life has still yet to conjuer up anything resembeling noteworthy news and so I will simply leave you with the knowledge that I am wishing you well and hope to see you soon.</p> <p> x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/06/14/back_from_beyond~2452524/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-06-06:/2007/06/06/knitting_isnt_just_for_life_its_for_loos~2406314/Zoidberg20002007-06-06T19:00:58+02:002007-06-06T19:00:58+02:00 <p>FACT! And I shall have non of it. I shall instead be joining the COOL people and at long last start on my mega DIORAMAS!!! And no not boring war ones grandad! Really cool ones with monsters and nazis and stuff. Ones that I think up. and robots why not?<br> God this IS the future. Ugh.<br> If you do knit a jumper, how about a "firemen suck" one? teehee. Thatll show em.<br> Hoping you are well and not taking my headlines to heart, as true as they all are!!!! ANOTHER FACT!<br> Smoked my last ciggy today. Ive had one to go to bed, and one to get up to, the rest of the day filled with nicotene gum. I dont care what anyone says, as much as I would love to have one, givin up smokin is a piece of piss. If the first three days are the hardest, this is actualy easier than not not smokin.</p> <p>All for today<br> untill next time dear blog watchers.</p> <p>YOU READ IT. YOU CAN'T UNREAD IT! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/06/06/knitting_isnt_just_for_life_its_for_loos~2406314/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-06-04:/2007/06/04/blair_is_gay_says_brown~2393374/Zoidberg20002007-06-04T16:30:49+02:002007-06-04T16:30:49+02:00 <p>My mate Paul Brown said that he thinks "give is a clue" host Lionell Blair is a gay. Controversial or what?!?</p> <p>Single AND on TV eh? Well well. That makes one dangerously eligable does it not? Will the clip be going up on myspace? I hope so. Did you do a swear. I hope so. Were you eating a massive cake at the time. tee hee. That would have been embarrasing. Funny tho. Somethin to tell the grandkids. Which just aint gonna exsist at this rate what with your sky high standards. In my day if a man had a job (or knew someone with one or had heared of one) they were practicaly frogmarched down the aisle. (why on earth is that spelt like that?) But celibacy works too. Has done for me anyway. And look at me now. Still in a job I hate in a tiny bedsit eating kidney beans from a tin.<br> Ah what Bliss.<br> Tulse Hill is no more. Keys handed in and all fucked off. (twenty dollars says this is NOT the end of it!)<br> Bokked some holidays in July. Ooh lovely.<br> I shall be in touch. One lucky Blogwatcher may even win the chance to spend a day in Brighton with all of us here at DeliciouslyEvil.<br> Maybe you could wear that jumper your gonna knit.</p> <p>If you do learn to knit, will you knit me a zombie. I saw em on the internet and are super two thumbs up cool. But i cant knit coz I always forget to keep count. true. the patterns on craftzine or somthin. Youll love em too! google em. in fact, I think im gonna take up knittin just so can make em, itll gimme somthuin to do here on the weekends at the desk. ooh im so exited. gotta go and google this.<br> xx</p> <p>ps. quittin smokin today, even got the chewy.<br> Knittin would keep my hands busy. oh this is gettin better and better.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/06/04/blair_is_gay_says_brown~2393374/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-06-01:/2007/06/01/harry_potter_is_gonna_die_fact~2374311/Zoidberg20002007-06-01T16:16:10+02:002007-06-01T16:16:10+02:00 <p>...eventualy. if he was real. which he isnt. </p> <p>YAY. So glad you passed your maths i am. Sorry bout the lack of posts dear reader(s), the owners of the desk are severly restricting access to this electronic computernet. im even telling number 3 (cant think of any famous polish birds) that there is none at all as she is begining to take advantage of poor old good old me.<br> The move is still hellish. key handing over ceremony took place today but have extended to sunday as theres so much to do. I thought it would be like when they handed over Hong Kong back to China with the soilders and fire works n shit, its more like just swearin at the hoover coz its knackered and whos is the best of madness cd? .and Who the hell b ought this, this isnt mine etc<br> and as for the number 2.......<br> from asia i think, could be british. pleasant enough and as dull as the dishwater i bet she drinks. believe me, there have been many using good ole me as a sounding board on how shes not as good as yours truely etc. Mr French even asked directly if i had seen you. personal, yes, but to be truthful, he did it in such a flirty way and had just been complimenting me AGAIN. and why? because zoidberg shaved his hair and chops he did?<br> and that, to cut a very long story short (and damn i wish i had a cam so i could put up pics)is that. This time on monday i shall be all alone at long last. speaking of which , may we have some clarity on this single thing? Has the Fireman been Extinguished?, as The Sun might say. (the tabloid, not the crazy gas ball) or are you nurses just too damn busy? (hahahahaha can you imagine?) all the best for the beautiful weekend and i raise my glass to toast the blissfully complication free life that is Singledom<br> x</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/06/01/harry_potter_is_gonna_die_fact~2374311/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-24:/2007/05/24/tony_blair_is_dead~2326976/Zoidberg20002007-05-24T16:42:45+02:002007-05-24T16:42:45+02:00 <p>...stupid for not leaving office a bit sooner. If I was up for a realy cushy retirment (semi or otherwise) I'd be off as soon as bloody possible. Zoning out from the second my notice was handed in, half assed cruising along and using the last of my holidays to avoid any leaving do, (ugh, leaving dos! You never need an excuse to buy me drinks and presents. Really, you dont.)etc etc</p> <p> Other than thinking up misleading attention grabbing headlines, there is no news.</p> <p> A HOLIDAY IN JULY. Youve only just walked through the bloody door. I know what the results of the blood test will be. Idle<img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0">ossitive!</p> <p> Oh... The little page boy/girl welsh whateva has begun to latch on to Fez. He aint to happy. But I think hes getting sickof hanging with the Good Witch of the North (sorry for the lame aliases, im typing against the clock). </p> <p> Untill tomorrow, Shock Hunters x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/24/tony_blair_is_dead~2326976/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-23:/2007/05/23/prince_harry_assasinated_by_the_usa~2321195/Zoidberg20002007-05-23T17:37:39+02:002007-05-23T17:37:39+02:00 <p>...in "friendly fire" has thankfully been avoided thanks to the MOD deeming it too much of a risk to send him out to the front. What? enemy would shoot even more bullets? Deadly war would become more deadly?!? I dont get it but its not down to me is it? Is it? If it is, nobody has told me. </p> <p>ANYWAY...</p> <p>Pink huh? you winking yet boys? Pretty huh?<br> There is sadly no real news from the desk as there is still so little going on that I have had to resort in writing provocative headlines to stir up some traffic. </p> <p>Anyone out there shagged any firemen yet?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/23/prince_harry_assasinated_by_the_usa~2321195/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-16:/2007/05/16/title~2281157/Zoidberg20002007-05-16T15:43:25+02:002007-05-23T17:41:32+02:00 <p> News released last night has revealed the real reason the NHS is the shits. It isnt the way the hospitals are forced to mimic the buisiness models of commerce, nothing to do with the way staff are paid in vials of mrsa virus, the underfunding, the lack of beds, the empty wards, the mixed sex wards or any of the countless other afflictions too numerous to mention. No. It is in truth a stark reality that the nurses are fully trained and "unleashed on the public" at just 10 weeks. Less time than it takes to learn to drive a car. Or to put it another way, spends about a TWENTIETH of the time a schoolchild studies for a GCSE in Cooking. Probably. Not their fault tho is it, and so although we here at deliciouslyevil like to keep our finger on the topical pulse of the world to bring the hottest news From around the globe To your frontal lobe, may we wish all our new student nurses Good Luck over the coming weeks and may life thrust a huge thermometer of success in your sphincters.</p> <p>And especialy to you<br> xxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/16/title~2281157/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-14:/2007/05/14/first_day~2271317/Zoidberg20002007-05-14T23:39:46+02:002007-05-14T23:39:46+02:00 <p>...I hope it went ok. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/14/first_day~2271317/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-13:/2007/05/13/dancing_on_the_wrong_side_of_crazy~2260364/Zoidberg20002007-05-13T08:45:31+02:002007-05-13T08:45:31+02:00 <p>...is without doubt Quote of the Week. I shall endevour to use that line as much as possible.<br> Well dear reader, today is your last day of lie-ins for a considerably long time. All of us here at deliciouslyevil send our sincere best wishes and for extra insurance, crossing our fingers. Which is making typing dificult but fun, try it.<br> Zoidberg found a flat he has. Small place in streatham. You must pop by next time your in the smoke. Compact? yes. All mine? yes.<br> A friend has asked if a kiwi friend of theres can stay for a few days. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH when will it end. I dont know how Elrond put up with it. "Welcome to Rivendell". Yeah, to their faces, then hed slope off to the kitchen and curse himself with yet another jumbo scotch. One more week dear reader.<br> Poland is tryna get me to send off my cv to Minnie fucking Mouse so I can be number two. Thats how desperate they're getting. A pleasant thought untill I start to think of all the cox etc Id have to be "pleasant" too. Still, what fun it would be eh? Rising at 6am, sorting out other peoples whiney petty little problems, tryna comunicate with Rizzo and Claude (come on, thats a good one), constant blocked toilets and people looking down on you for taking the stairs. Yey that sounds fun, fuck knows why you left. Oh yeah, and having fuckin zebras stare at you and get fondled by pharos. No thankyou. Im perfectly unhappy as I am thankyou very much.<br> Good Luck tommorrow. Dont forget your dinner money, take some pens and a ruler. and some tissues in case it's sad. Send my love to Brighton, tell her I shall be back soon. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/13/dancing_on_the_wrong_side_of_crazy~2260364/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-09:/2007/05/09/still_no_number_twos~2241182/Zoidberg20002007-05-09T20:08:57+02:002007-05-09T20:08:57+02:00 <p>Back again. My appologies for the silence over the bankholiday weekend. Busy and pissed off, but know I am pleased to announce our return to the programme. I trust your weekend was distracting. (or else there would have been a bulging post bag for yours truely with a thousand missifs demanding the continuation of the Megablog. Been fucking firemen yet? If you know what I mean. (ive lost all capacity for subtlety). Still flat hunting. Wherever I go for a viewing, as I aproach the premise I recieve a call to say it has already been let. THREE TIMES. two to see tomorrow and two more on Fri. Im just gonna take whichever is least shit. I dont give a fuck no more. Unlike Drinkypoo the Midlife Crisis Zebra, who sends his love. As if he knew what that was. Noone loves a drunk. A drunk who lives in a car anyway. I told him as much and as I did, expecting heavy whinnying and tears, the stripes on his jacket simply wilted off. Through the window whatched The Boy Who Eats Alone, wondering why his hero, role model, wank fantasie, whateva, looked so sad. Fucking gimps. Fuck off. for those keeping count, I have 120 days left here. Less with holidays. Ive got two bitches from candy and candy here ALL FUCKING NIGHT. yackety yackety yackety yackety yackety yackety yackety yackeaty yackety yackety yackety prada yackety yackety yackety yackety yackety yackety yackety bulemia yakety yackety yackety yackety stickers yackety yackety yackety yackety for fucking hours on end. ABOUT FUCK ALL! The noise is not only distracting but also soul scraping and so I shall sign off as my head has already left my shoulders in search of a gas oven and has made it impossible to read what I am writing (damn those eyes. Bring back my eyes. Stupid head!) hoping this posting finds you well in Welles. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/09/still_no_number_twos~2241182/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-04:/2007/05/04/not_in_the_mood_to_write_stupid_blog~2209828/Zoidberg20002007-05-04T15:39:35+02:002007-05-04T15:39:35+02:00 <p>Well Rubrecht the Monkey Boy arrived. Its realy wiered to think I used to go out with him. Ah well. To make it worse, another previous tennant of Zoidberg Manor also, due to yet another row with her asshole boyfriend, was also there when I got home from work. Lucky old Zoidberg. Both parties brought booze tho so the blow was well cousioned.<br> The bedsit Zoidberg wants doesnt even exist. A mere ruse to get Zoidbergs custom. Damn. Lookin at another on Tuesday. This better get sorted soon for the sooner its over the sooner we'll be able to have a good old fasioned knees-up. It wont be long, I promise.<br> Still no news of news of number 2<br> Wishing you all out there a most pleasant weekend </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/04/not_in_the_mood_to_write_stupid_blog~2209828/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-03:/2007/05/03/fuck_the_apples~2204132/Zoidberg20002007-05-03T16:57:05+02:002007-05-03T16:57:05+02:00 <p>Came into work today, ONLY A FACKIN ZEBRA OUTSIDE. A pissed one at that. Yes, Drinkypoos the Mid-Life Crisis Zebra came back. Drunks are funny.<br> Still no news on the Number Two (as she will be called).<br> Tomorrow off a house hunting. ( insert joke about catching a semi, shooting a bungalow, or similar ) Yours truely has been awfully clever in realising that if he can put up with living in a teeny tiny place then the student shit will cover his ass so he wont need to work and in turn will be able to tell several people in a several places what to stick and where! (May even kick a zebra up the arse, who hasnt always wanted to kick a zebra up the arse?)<br> And finaly, my thoughts on that apple are not so nearly as interesting as my thoughts on young ladies whos favourite movie genre happens to be films-with-gay-men-in-them. AND it just so happens to be Drinkypoos' favourite genre too. (I so bet thats true!)<br> Untill tomorrow my lovelys</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/fuck_the_apples~2204132/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-02:/2007/05/02/fire_man~2197181/Zoidberg20002007-05-02T15:36:23+02:002007-05-02T15:36:23+02:00 <p>Another day another life-is-like-waiting-for-a-bus comparison. and it looks like its going to rain. Very soon and very hard. For tomorrow brings the return of Rubrecht the Monkey Boy (google it) to the home of yours truely. WHY? IM MOVING IN LESS THAN 4 WEEKS. A prospect already causing me inadequate amounts of mental discomfort and now this. Its no wonder I drink. *hic* </p> <p>Fireman? A Fire Man? May I say how delightfuly frustrating it is to be given a tiny taste of a tale that one knows will lead to a four course epic. Any more information on this suprising twist would be most greatfully received, however may I add may main concern is that this "confusion" doesnt cause you too much woe. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/fire_man~2197181/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-02:/2007/05/02/questions_questions_question~2196999/Zoidberg20002007-05-02T15:05:58+02:002007-05-02T15:05:58+02:00<p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/questions_questions_question~2196999/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-05-01:/2007/05/01/slags_what_leave_early_with_chumps~2191182/Zoidberg20002007-05-01T15:18:56+02:002007-05-01T15:18:56+02:00 <p>The "Tracked and confirmed" of yesterdays post was refering to the fact that I had tracked my UCAS stuff and found to had been offered a place unconditional to which I confirmed. So yes I have both heard from and am going. (and any random eyeballs browsing this will now think Zoidberg is in his late just-off-to-uni- teens is. Yey. Fools!</p> <p>Love eh? Mighty dangerous stuff. Wouldnt be some scrawny boy who most certainly isn't Daniel Craig. The same scrawny boy that galantly helped a young lady to get some fresh air when feeling h, then that would go part way to explain todays headline.</p> <p>News on your replacement; still no news. </p> <p>News on anything else? None. Im fail to see what Ronan Keating meant by using the rollercoaster as a metaphor for life. Its wore like waitin for a bus to somwhere you dont wanna go</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/05/01/slags_what_leave_early_with_chumps~2191182/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-04-30:/2007/04/30/huzzah_zoidberg_going_to_university_is~2186000/Zoidberg20002007-04-30T16:13:44+02:002007-04-30T16:13:44+02:00 <p>Tracked and confirmed today.<br> I hope my dear subsciber has had a wonderful weekend and has recovered from what I imagine were inevitable highs and lows of saying goodbyes to various random dollar jokeys; random flesh-sacks that they be.<br> New from the desk, none. I have yet to meet my subscribers repacment. I shall try to be as pleasant as possible however I know, inside, I shall be completlely numb. Now off to adjust the air conditioning on the sixth floor. My life IS that exciting. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/huzzah_zoidberg_going_to_university_is~2186000/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk,2007-04-29:/2007/04/29/the_first_mighty_blab~2178714/Zoidberg20002007-04-29T09:10:13+02:002007-04-29T09:10:13+02:00 <p>And here we are, as promised.<br> Brand spanking new<br> And all for you.</p> <p>I shall be telling no other of this most selective of blogs as it would get somewhat on my tits should thay start their fucking noise about how unfair it is of me to have published such cruel , unfair, and often downright slanderous accusations about them which I feel honourbound to do.</p> <p>So untill tommorrow my dear viewer</p> <p>x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://deliciouslyevil.blog.co.uk/2007/04/29/the_first_mighty_blab~2178714/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>